my favourie band

yes I am over 30 and have A FAVOURITE BAND and   
I know I'm always like (vocally) unable to comperehend
the notion of  favourite anything in this big world full of all kinds of shit
so I find it difficult to believe it too just like you


am I embarassed? HELL NO !! far from it.  because my favourite band is THE COUP



been - theoretically mostly, written little - trying to write about Boots and Coup and more Boots for a good few years now I guess since I started writing again.. been a while.. I still believe I will especially now that coup have announced the october/november european tour promoting sorry to bother you, their long awaited (by me and I am sure many - I'm not that special) album. but, as you may have guessed if you've been paing attention, I have no words strong enough to convey my love and respect for Boots Riley who if I had one hero - and I do - would be my hero.

SUMMER

I love the heat! I love how you search out the tiniest clothes you have and even that is too much! I love this feeling when you just want to be in water, crave a cold shower and then really enjoy one. don't leave the house all day even though you keep thinking (and being told) you should - it's summer! you don't get that much here you have to be out you have to enjoy it catch it while it lasts etc.  - but no. I love not having to be out, to rush anywhere, not cycling to and back in unbearable heat between buses spewing more unbearable heat. staying in and working all day at my newly reclaimed desk (got rid of the decks the other day, really needed working space) facing my massive bay window, sun shining, music blasting into my lovely street. happiness.
I will go out now though, in the evening when it's still nice and warm but fresh. it's only summer really when you can and want to be outside all night. I was made for unemployed  tropical life I've known that for a while now. In the summer  life is good good good.


and
amidst
this bliss this
arrives
(the day after I decide to pack up the decks dontchano):

I cought the postman trying to push it through the letterbox, I don't know what his plan was but I stopped him before he managed to break the record. I guess FRAGILE is maybe not a well known word, maybe they should change it to soming simpler like they did alight on the underground.... anyways anyways

se-sebenza! se-sebenza!
 


buy it
buy it

I don't know

But if he stood and watched the frigid wind
Tousling the clouds, lay on the fusty bed
Telling himself that this was home, and grinned,
And shivered, without shaking off the dread

 That how we live measures our own nature,
And at his age having no more to show
Than one hired box should make him pretty sure
He warranted no better, I don't know.


these last two stanzas of Mr B come to me sometimes and bring with them an image that is both calming and unsettling somehow. I say it to myself quietly (more or less depending on where I am usually happens in parks) a few times and forget about it till the next time. shit is beautiful

How to Stay Mad and Give up on People

 could do with a crash course

random dialogs

Public Enemy- HARDER THAN YOU THINK from HWIC Filmworks on Vimeo.

mucho mambo

only yesterday did I say
few things would sway me into going to bloody xoyo
BANG! David J.


Bang Said the Gun: David J from Mark Chaudoir Films on Vimeo.

I brought it on meself didn't I
sigh...

weekly suggestion 6: Georgia Anne Muldrow

this week's weekly suggestion is a heap of suggestions that I have regarding love and partnership.
I recently discovered that it had already been put into words beautifully by one amazing lady.
there's nothing I would add to this I don't think, every word coming out of her mouth is love.

left school to go to school. pure wisdom (part from the greek man hahaha. but you know what she means)

please listen to Georgia Anne Muldrow:

you gotta sit at the edge of the universe and accept that you will be loved

you gonna be ready to accept that it's a battlefield, you know? and that your partner in battle
will appear for you. once you take the first step: to show up

you and me we can make a difference if we try

brook yung: if you don't cry then..I don't know..

She lives…Two blocks from heaven, and just across the street from God. She has a heart like a lighthouse and the most beautiful egg-shelled color eyes you have ever seen, her name is Bianca..And Bianca believes rainbows are like angels because she’s never seen one and sometimes she asks me to explain what one looks like. So I tell her, rainbows are like, running your fingers through piano keys, and if you listen closely you can hear the color in each note, but she doesnt play the piano very well…See her body and her soul has shadowed underneath her skin and ever since her brother was sentence to an electric chair for a crime, he did not commit, what a broken shell she has become..For her depression, they give her ECT…Electric Compulsive Therapy, a non-government approach that outs her face to face with a thunderbolt and God every week, so I asked the doctors “What does it feel like to watch my cousin’s body spazz and jerk like an earthquake fighting with the sky, her bones, break and spin as if she were dancing and the word “CLEAR!” becomes the true and the convulsions turn into back spins and her head locks the “click-clack” like a jam on the remote control, have you ever seen a blind girl ticked off?! She ticks like a washer machine, and she ticks, she ticks like a human clocker on a machine gun, or a human clock and her deathwish watts and rocks and doo-wops like she only has grenades for joints and pipe bombs for bones, you ever seen a blind girl ticked off?!? Its like an exorcism, like washer machines on speed dry, breaking and bruising this wall surrounding, its like 400 volts giving her an invitation to dance but aint no mirrors in these hospital rooms, just first class trip tickets to deathbeds and grave sites but they talk, they tell her this is suppose bring her closer to her brother, it shows her what it feels like to be strapped and fried but still innocence as this time she can actually see what a rainbow looks like and its nothing like piano keys, its like a holocaust being thrown through the sky CLEAR!…..So just be patient that the sprinkle of a tic tac wont bring her memory back, so now she can hear voices pulsating from under her like CLEAR! Just because you are blind, doesnt mean that you’re inadequate, God just lends you his eyes so now you can see the heaven in us CLEAR! If you ever feel that you are hopeless, just remember you have a 20/20 heart and your words are the only eyes you will ever need to guide you CLEAR! There was a truth in your mother’s belly, a light that shined down on you before you were born and I believe your blindness is a point of not being scared to stare at the truth CLEAR! and just like any other deaths…All it takes is the wrong bang or wrong move to end somebody’s life in a spin or split second……February..My cousin’s body spazzed and jerked so hard that it broke her spine in 3 places, had me thinking, “what’s the difference between giving somebody Electric Compulsive Therapy and actually giving them the electric chair for a crime they did not commit?” She lives two blocks down from heaven and right across the street from God, she has a heart like a lighthouse and the most beautiful egg-shelled colored eyes you will ever see, her name is Bianca, and Bianca believes that angels are like rainbows so she paints one in the sky to let the world know that she’s dancing and sometimes when that sun shines off of that upside down holocaust multi-colored frown in the sky, I listen and I swear..I know what I can hear and it sounds just like music…

brook yung

with ma mind on ma money and ma money on ma mind

ok ENOUGH of this PSYCHO SHIT already

we been battered service users
fucking weird shit falling down with the sky on our heads
had some losers try to use us - met some psychos short of meds

anyways anyways it ends now. from now on (I know I felt it switch) we be rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice. laid back


so what you wanna do? sheeeeeeit

housemate hunting and weekly suggestion 5

the 'Temporary' Offspring Situation has finally come to an end and the Family of Four has moved out. what was meant to last for a couple of months went on for nearly 10 and towards the end became trying for everyone involved. the three of us staying were relieved to say good bye to them though I suspect not remotely as relieved as they were to say good bye to months of stress and hitting numerous brick walls. we'll miss K but I guess he'll be back sooner or later, he'd moved out before.

looking for housemates is a nightmare. advertising and having strangers see rooms in your house is the worst case scenario and should be avoided at all cost if for one reason only: telling people you like or feel sorry for that they haven't made it is barely bearable. and it's not the only reason. I am proud to say we really did it as a last minute last resort (thought out of denial more than anything else) - ad on gumtree friday night some 9 people seen saturday room available sunday - still it hurt. we agonised for hours over whom to choose - there were four people we liked, obviously more than empty rooms and obviously better than less than empty rooms, still agony. finally made a choice we seemed happyish with, some of us more than others, and it got messy anyway. misunderstandings followed, had to change our mind and get out of the initial choice, someone got upset. and then more spectacular and totally unexpected problems of different nature that I'm not gonna go into followed, need sorting out immediatelly and will cost money we don't have. the guys are at work so I'm left with all the quick actions and decisions and a massive headache is clouding my judgement.

another month started and judging by the first couple of days it has no intention of being less fucking fucked that the last two.

yeah...
 can't help but wonder what all this is gonna do to my psyche but mainly soma. I've already broken a rib, had a black out in a club and been suffering serious migraines. my body is totally confused I sleep randomly eat randomly and stress all the time. the amount and intensity of weirdness surrounding me is bound to have an impact. I'm trying to take it all through the nose and translate it into valuable experience - am unable and unwilling to be upset or angry for a long time, don't hold grudges etc - but things do hit me hard initially. one is - dangerously for one's physical health, one is beginning to realise - quite sensitive

the suggestion I've got for this week is: doubt yourself more, doubt others less

it's hard for me to go with this one at this moment. it came to me before things that happened in the last few days happened. I won't get into it because it's personal but mainly because it is too long and complicated a story and I'm still not entirely sure what to make of it. the long and short of it is my trust in people has been put on trial and is struggling to hold ground. It's been being put on trial repeatedly lately actually but this time more spectacularly that before. .anyways anyways

yes people are wolfes out there to get you. untrustworthy and self-interested. some of them. fewer than you think (though more than I used to think.......I do live in a bubble, someone or something is set on burtsting it)
yes there are probably things you understand better and know more about than others. some things. fewer than you think
listen to other people more. trust your judgement less

and now something from a completely different barrel as they say where I'm from

I was told by a British guy the other day during a conversation with a few random people I'd just met about what everyone does etc that I was quite cultured for a Pole. for a second I thought I'd imagined it (my opinion on British people in general is rather low I'm sorry to say. it is purely based on experience and I do keep challenging it and finding exceptions obviously) but no, straight face and all the jerk seemed happy with his comment. and I guess expected me to be with the er... compliment presumably? I said to this, after I stopped hyperventilating mildly: 'you are quite cultured for a Brit.'' sarcasm oozing, to which he replied unphased 'I am.' to which I walked away with my eyes and mouth as open as they git.

Terry Urban Presents: Nas x Amy Winehouse - Mr. & Mr. Jones by Okayplayer on Mixcloud

Terry Urban Presents: Nas x Amy Winehouse - Mr. & Mr. Jones by Okayplayer on Mixcloud

teebs & Charles Munka @ HVW8