you know these rare occasions when you
really need support for whatever reason (though you may not realise
it till the last moment) and fam comes through like a rock? this
happened to me last night. I'd gotten involved in an event I don't
think I should of gotten involved in. a good beautiful thing that I
appreciate and support but is not about what I am
about. not quite. in spirit yes (at least in theory, spirit's not always easy to pinpoint) in practical reality: the interests
and the execution - no. the way I was involved was as frustrating as the way I was appointed bizarre. I don't quite know what my role was meant to be, neither
do I think I fulfilled it very well. all a little too surreal for my
liking in an uncomfortable kinda way. Like, there wasn't
anything for me to actually do kinda way. There were plenty of tasks
or whole roles I could have thought up for myself but I couldn't be
that bothered nahmean? still I was there trying my best under the
circumstances and there with me making it much gooder and much more
comfortable and fun that it otherwise would have been, was my people.
There are numerous categories of
'friends' but there is one type of people, hope you know exactly what
I'm talking about, that you always want to be around. all the time.
there is never nothing to talk about and there are never any real
misunderstanding or problems, a discussion or debate never feels like
an argument and all is always good. family. you know and they know
that in their case when you say my people or fam or sister or b you mean exactly that. familyforever. even if you fall out (I'm
talking theory here I barely never ever fall out with people and
never never ever with family, last time happened in high school but
didn't take long to make up. take after mother) it be like falling
out with family, will hurt like falling out with family and they will
stay on your mind. You may not see them for two years then see them and
it's like it's always been coz you don't change. ye you change,
sometimes a lot. you may become a completely different person in
certain aspects and have gone through a lot without them but the
core, what you both are about and your friendship is about is the
same and you can just pick it up where you left it. I'm blessed with
quite a lot of people like that. some of them I don't see much of but
I do whenever I can and when I do it's always the same. some of them
I see all the time. last night those of my people who are here and
could came came to something that is not exactly up their street to put it
mildly and had as much fun as they could muster. it was a great
night. the whole thing was a good if bizarre lesson of what not to
get involved in. this post is a [now very belated, am talking
October 201...hmm 2] thank you.
aww I hope one day I will manage to write a similar - if waaay more melodramatic - post about what happened over the last four weeks and one day.
there are so many beautiful people around me and so many came through and a couple of them so madly hard over what had potential for the worst nightmare (including homelessness and broken bones) and was a string of blessings. I don't know how many people can count broken bones as blessings. probably many. I don't know if many do. my broken bone is a gift that keeps on giving and that's the truth.
to the guys who looked after me over this craziest, busiest and most exhausting and challenging (I do like a challenge, don't get this one wrong) time in my entire life, literally held my hand and my physical and mental well being in their hands - ye mental, literally in their hands. mental, I know - you know who you are and you know I love you but Ima say it again, not because I love repetition. I love repetition. but because I love you. I am overwhelmed with love.
I hope you've been checking out mandala eyes
I hope you've been checking out mandala eyes.
