east is east

they have THE REAL AVOCADO (and mango) in harlsden! hundreds! in HARLSDEN!! you know the big, bright yellow inside thing that gets ripe and creamy before it rots and has taste! as opposed to the ubiquitous greyish green tasteless stuff that never really ripens. I thought they might actually, I hadn't been to Ivan's 'willesden junction' shop in years, not since I moved out of the one andonly All Souls Avenue I guess, and Palm 2 has now replaced it as The Best Shop in London (not only amazing when it comes to selection quality and resourcefulness, they are also the nicest people!) but I suspected if it was to be found anywhere it'd have to be there. and it is.

went on a bit of a sentimental trip around that area the other day as it turned out the exam i was doing (examining not being examined which is another story) was at the academy right behind All Souls.

Kensal Green/Rise has changed. New developmens, new posh pubs and bars and trendy shops along Harrow Road and Chamberlain road (wireless not working at the Paradise though, disappointing). I was relieved to see that the little Bangladeshi newsagents is still there. went to say hello and the owner remembered me and was really happy to see me! I had lived in his flat above the shop for about two weeks when I decided a month on the living room sofa at 168 (while waiting to take over the small room or was it a cupboard?) was enough, shared my problem with the guy and two days later he said he had a room for me. it was the most uncomfortable sofa trust me. cafe rossio still there too, still empty other than a couple of sombre portuguese pensioners each at their separate table, sipping cafezinho, but the É uma casa portuguesa, com certeza seems to have disappeared off the wall...

Harlsden... is Harlsden, as dodgy now as it was then. completely forgot about the killer one way system combined with too narrow and crammed pavements to go over them. had to walk with the bike and yes, did end up having long conversations and giving away all fags to the local area boys life is life. other than that no interaction, which didn't surprise me much. I got used out of west london and how unfriendly and tense it is compared to the east. got back emotionally knackered and instead of going home where did I go? yep. and there of all places I got the first hint of the amazing month of April being OVER. only just realised actually it was May 1 the day when things started going wrong. or rather were about to start but it was already in the air. I can feel these things somehow, not sure why. something to do with my date of birth I'm told.

so


strikes back.

I've been waiting I let myself be so unapologetically positive about everything that's been happening I could barely believe it let me. I've been talking about it too, in an unashamedly happy way, telling poeple how amazing all the developments have been and how blessed I've been feeling. I knew I was daring fate, I knew it was watching me with it's ever more squinting eyes. still, zero negativity, zero spells, zero superpower shit. I had become quite good at it's game but recently I just wouldn't play. and for the entire month of April it let me. and bwoy if it wasn't the best month ever!

as I said I've been waiting and it came down crashing on me, hitting where it hurts. but hey as I said also, I know it's game, I'll take it through the nose as they say where I'm from. now. fuck off juju yes yes boiler room!