I've been trying to be as negative as I can about this one so as not to jinx it. I have this superpower you see, i can turn anything into shit just by really looking forwad to it, having high expectations or simply planning. i should be in misfits. I am though aren't I? the real life misfits...... no complaints there, last thing I'd want is to fit with the majority of the lovely but lost human race for now anyway until it wakes up. anyways anyways, it works in reverse too, my superpower does, if I have low expectations and am pessimistic about something it usually turns out ok or very very good. so I have mastered being positively negative about things I really want to be good and somehow it seems to be working... this time though it would be a real struggle - i've been quite excited about it for a while - if it wasn't for the fact that I am really knackered. more and more people seem to have realised that it is possible and ok to come round at any time they fancy and recently 2 a.m has increasingly been the time of choice... I had a very good morning discussion with a friend that I really like but my head is very very heavy and the fact that I have to be in Morning Crescent in less than two hours makes me want to growl.
***
the gig was avarage. nothing to do with superpowers, shit venue (koko) shit sound, I expected more than just the more popular songs from the album. not very adventurous but I guess it wasn't meant to be.
Thursday, 1 March 2012
the juju
still fighting the juju and still losing. it's hard not to believe in some sort of wicked twisted balance my life insists on finding which basically means that after quite a few months of being pretty fucking amazing it will now be shit. since I'm not very likely to let it get really bad to ballance out the really good quickly, it will probably be just fairly shit for a fairly long time. shitish.
the juju has now spread to the house situation. it was possibly the only thing that was still completely fine. more than fine - prefect. ok ish. perfectish. which is perfect isn't it, you don't want things to be exactly perfect do you? I don't. maybe coz it's an abstract idea and I don't deal with abstract. anyways anyways.
E's decides to move out after having suffered months of being slowly eaten by her own room (don't ask me). K who should jump at the opportunity of having extra space for the temporary offspring situation doesn't jump. we all worry - it will be rather difficult to find someone new what with the temporary (now only in name it seems) offspring situation; I miraculously find someone - a good friend of mine, the Crazy Turk, is really fed up with her house and wants out, perfect; the Turk decides to take the room and scarily quickly arranges things at her end; having learnt that, K announces he now wants the room, no he doesn't want it he HAS TO have it, can I please cancel the Turk.
I'm not gonna get upset, I have no time or energy for that. I don't really do upset. I can take a lot before I let things start getting to me. and I mean a lot. it is proving significantly harder though not to be annoyed. and the list of things that are potentially very annoying is getting longer fast. and I really don't like being annoyed.
life's pretty much like this at the moment:
takes some getting used to but it could be a lot worse I guess. i am loving this album at the moment wondering if this should worry me
the drums sounded really dull today. as usual, I couldn't figure out why. I never know what to expect from them, I thought mayby the curtains did it but no, looks like they just sound how they feel like. then, towards the evening the sound bacame much better. today for the first time ever I thought 'shame it's not getting dark so early any more'! for some reason drumming is much more pleasant when it's dark out...
it's not a shame though. days are getting longer, life is getting better. whether it likes it or not. definitely time to put the skates on. if I break a leg, at least I won't be surprised.
the juju has now spread to the house situation. it was possibly the only thing that was still completely fine. more than fine - prefect. ok ish. perfectish. which is perfect isn't it, you don't want things to be exactly perfect do you? I don't. maybe coz it's an abstract idea and I don't deal with abstract. anyways anyways.
E's decides to move out after having suffered months of being slowly eaten by her own room (don't ask me). K who should jump at the opportunity of having extra space for the temporary offspring situation doesn't jump. we all worry - it will be rather difficult to find someone new what with the temporary (now only in name it seems) offspring situation; I miraculously find someone - a good friend of mine, the Crazy Turk, is really fed up with her house and wants out, perfect; the Turk decides to take the room and scarily quickly arranges things at her end; having learnt that, K announces he now wants the room, no he doesn't want it he HAS TO have it, can I please cancel the Turk.
I'm not gonna get upset, I have no time or energy for that. I don't really do upset. I can take a lot before I let things start getting to me. and I mean a lot. it is proving significantly harder though not to be annoyed. and the list of things that are potentially very annoying is getting longer fast. and I really don't like being annoyed.
life's pretty much like this at the moment:
takes some getting used to but it could be a lot worse I guess. i am loving this album at the moment wondering if this should worry me
the drums sounded really dull today. as usual, I couldn't figure out why. I never know what to expect from them, I thought mayby the curtains did it but no, looks like they just sound how they feel like. then, towards the evening the sound bacame much better. today for the first time ever I thought 'shame it's not getting dark so early any more'! for some reason drumming is much more pleasant when it's dark out...
it's not a shame though. days are getting longer, life is getting better. whether it likes it or not. definitely time to put the skates on. if I break a leg, at least I won't be surprised.
god save us from america?... nah... too late
a good article on america by Noam Chmsky at the Guardian last week: part1 and part 2
not exactly eye-opening for someone who tends to have their eyes open but still mindblowing because of the details that we don't always get to see or think about, the actual thinking behind the decisions and who is making them, based on what and how its justified, packaged and sold to the public.
america is a very scary country. its imperialism, the self proclaimed right to rule and own the rest of the world that it is pursuing, how powerful, ruthless and unflinching the decisionmakers are, and that the vast majority of over three hundred milion of americans go along with it and support their leaders. the fact that a society with free access to information can be so easily brain washed and under such strong influence of propaganda is mindboggling. and it looks very much like america is ready to bomb yet another country that has the audacity to make its own decisions based on its interest rather than america's and stick by them. and it's bitch, Britain will most likely support it.
Friday, 24 February 2012
mumagi at jazz re:freshed
I've not been to jazz re:freshed since before christmas. so. first time this year! and what a good good if slightly late start of the year it was! no surprise there, of course, I've never been to an average jazz refreshed gig, they don't do average. if you don't know this yet then pay attention and make notes now: jazz refreshed at mau mau bar is the best weekly night in this huge amazing town full of great things. by FAR. if you are down and jazz refreshed can't lift you right up, high to the sky, then nothing on this planet can help you. anyways anyways
dahu mumagi. i wasn't going last night either (I keep not going to things and ending up there anyway, I guess deep down I believe one or two of the people I've been loving and supporting and helping and serving - which is what i live for, don't get me wrong - will help me when i'm out in d out in d out in the streets...) but I usually check out the artist there in case it turns out to be someone I have to see, which is often the case. so I spent the entire day Wednesday listening to dahu mumagi's music. nuff said really, given that there being too much music I have to listen to NOW is a constant headache of mine and i sometimes catch myself trying to listen to more than one thing at a time. wednesday was not that much different in this respect but it was a predominantly mumagi day. and a magical day. it's hard for me to describe how I felt listening to this music, it did strange things to me. you know the feeling when someone verbalises your emotions so exactly you feel like this is what you have been trying to say all along but could never find those exact words? it was a bit like that only with sounds rathen than words. and sometimes words too - felt almost like i was talking to myself, like the inner voice i've been trying to get out was out and talking back at me, telling me exactly how I felt and taking me places I wanted to go. like the music was played directly on my soul, as pretentious as it sounds, this is as close as I can describe how I felt listening to dahu mumagi that day. check him out and fall in love.
last night at mau, he was accompanied by a group of (very!) talented and (very!) young musicians called psylus. check them out too, they are bound for Greatness no two ways about it! an amazing experience. it took me a while to get back to reality. i'm not sure I have. or want to.
dahu mumagi. i wasn't going last night either (I keep not going to things and ending up there anyway, I guess deep down I believe one or two of the people I've been loving and supporting and helping and serving - which is what i live for, don't get me wrong - will help me when i'm out in d out in d out in the streets...) but I usually check out the artist there in case it turns out to be someone I have to see, which is often the case. so I spent the entire day Wednesday listening to dahu mumagi's music. nuff said really, given that there being too much music I have to listen to NOW is a constant headache of mine and i sometimes catch myself trying to listen to more than one thing at a time. wednesday was not that much different in this respect but it was a predominantly mumagi day. and a magical day. it's hard for me to describe how I felt listening to this music, it did strange things to me. you know the feeling when someone verbalises your emotions so exactly you feel like this is what you have been trying to say all along but could never find those exact words? it was a bit like that only with sounds rathen than words. and sometimes words too - felt almost like i was talking to myself, like the inner voice i've been trying to get out was out and talking back at me, telling me exactly how I felt and taking me places I wanted to go. like the music was played directly on my soul, as pretentious as it sounds, this is as close as I can describe how I felt listening to dahu mumagi that day. check him out and fall in love.
last night at mau, he was accompanied by a group of (very!) talented and (very!) young musicians called psylus. check them out too, they are bound for Greatness no two ways about it! an amazing experience. it took me a while to get back to reality. i'm not sure I have. or want to.
Monday, 20 February 2012
Friday, 10 February 2012
cinco meses
five months today since i chose freedom over money n decided to be the sole owner of my time
Monday, 6 February 2012
it doesn't get much gooder than this!
quite an amazing weekend.... a really good play at arcola, an amazingly feel good house party till not so early in the morning, a still quite early morning walk across downs park, a lovely chilled saturday evening at a friends house, a late night walk in the snow. sunday full of murkish delights beautiful and moody and dark and heavily delightful, then a very good session at the aliby (rotation) and a walk across downs park which begins to feel like my back garden.. my hands are two swolen and possibly bruised blobs from the drum, my legs are shaking from dancing and my back is beautifully relxed, can't say why ;) it doesn't get much better than this..
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