Do you really wanna no about hard times ft suggestions of the week

[draft]
another broke thursday. seriously I just realised. what is it about thursdays??

woke up to the news of Austin Peralta being dead. 
I also woke up quite ill and in pain but had to get up and go where I had to go.


got hit by tongue in cheek racism and am struggling to hold respect for one of my favourite rappers. I imagine what he said was most likely some kind of an injoke, not the first one, some things he says make me cringe. joke or not an intelligent guy and conscious rapper got to be aware of what he puts out there outa context. but hey isn't racism ok when it's against white people? how many otherwise seemingly sane folks act like it is?

then I got hit by homophobia coming from young er..otherwise seemingly sane people. I've been exposed to that quite a lot lately and feel sorry for them but much more worried about the state of society. seeing young people being fed bullshit and unwilling to make up their own mind about things is upsetting. it's obvious someone's hurt them and is keeping on doing it, a lot of them seem to have zero understanding of what goes on past political/religious/social propaganda they are being fed, and very little understanding of what they are actually saying, no arguments either, just forcefully repeated slogans like I said it makes me sad as many of these kids obviously have good brains but have been conditioned into not using them.
 

I have never been indoctrinated, I never felt pressure from parents teachers priests peers to fit in, to follow a closed set of rules or beliefs to close my mind to shut out the outside world. or if I have I've managed to ignore it. I've never been fed haterid towards anyone. I'd been for the bigger part of my life lucky to not encounter many who had, I used to until fairly recently have zero such people among my friends or even aquaintances and every encounter with one used to shock me. it still shocks me but it's no longer rare.

as a result of all this and much more that's been happening this week my weekly suggestion is give up on humanity as it's broken beyond repair. 
 

ruled by human logic we sometimes confine ourselves to one plane of the universe

no it's not. the suggestion of the week is stop giving so much fuck. In a good way. I'm working on it. I am. I'll fail I no but I will get closer.

with that in mind and pain in body I gave up on the day half way thru and went to bed. I had a dream in which I was hanging out with Austin Peralta's two year old black son who didn't know his daddy was dead.

got up in the evening cooked dinner for and hanged out with brat n jordan and my day was miraculously saved. got introduced to an amazing person I will write about next time plus
saw some
awesome
pictures from a recent gig.

I hate being bipolar it's awesome

how can you not be bipolar in a bipolar world